Oh no!

Week before last we were having new windows installed in our house. Meaning big gaping holes that looked very much like escape hatches to Holly, my little Houdini Chihuahua. So she and Dixie were locked behind the baby gate in different areas where work wasn't being done. And Holly started to whine, and shake the gate with one of her paws and cock her head as if politely asking for release.

So we put their leashes on them and took them outside to "do their business." It was just an instant....she slipped out of her leash and took off running down the sidewalk, saw a person on the sidewalk and darted out into the street to avoid them, and was hit by a car. And I watched it all in amazement. And horror.

And that was it. One moment I had this cute little dog, and the next moment she was gone. She ran off like that all the time, any time she got a chance. But she always came back. I never chased her because she'd just run farther and faster. Usually I'd just go inside and leave the door cracked open, and when she got tired of being a little PITA she'd come back and nudge the door open and it would close behind her of its own weight. Sometimes I wouldn't even hear it but she'd be standing right in front of me with her ears sticking straight up. Like, "I'm back!" But that's never going to happen again. She's never coming back.

During all this time there's so much going on. Two precious little girls to watch, a new baby boy to hold and sing to, the whole of Facebook in a continued uproar over politics, traffic at its holiday mad peak, stores packed to the brim with holly and jolly and people gearing up for tomorrow, the day of gratitude to be followed by a month of festivity and good will to men....and greed. Everything is moving at this super-fast pace filled with the entire spectrum of emotion. And I see it like I'm outside it all.

Because my little dog died. And she's never coming back.